Thursday, March 02, 2006

Left Lane / Right Lane

I wonder what makes cell phone users drive in the left lane of a four lane highway. Is the reception that much better eight feet left? And here's some breaking news - you really don't have to drive that slow to maintain reception. Your phone really will continue to pick up cellular signals at or above the posted speed limit.

Today, while waiting at stop lights on my way home, I made a very casual survey of cars going by to see how many drivers were talking on their cell phones. Fully 1/2 of the twenty-two vehicles I observed were piloted by cell phone users. Ten of those were lumbering along in - that's right - the left lane.

I suppose it's more convenient to occupy the "passing" lane than to deal with all the right turns other drivers are making, but if you are paying so little attention to the road ahead, shouldn't you make your calls while stopped? It's just a little scary to come up behind someone driving (I use the term loosely) in the left lane, cell phone in one hand, smoking a cigarette, shifting a manual transmission and attempting to steer the vehicle while travelling between five and fifteen (it varies wildly) miles per hour below the posted limit. All at the same time. Help me out here, but that's using more hands than most of us have been equipped with.

Cell phone users expand your horizons! Don't just be left laners. Use your right lane once in a while, too. The change will do you and the rest of us a lot of good. Who knows? The slight shift in lane occupation could allow you to see life from an entirely different perspective. It could cheer a dour disposition or relieve boredom, maybe it could even fire some brand new synapses for you and reduce your chances of developing dementia later in life.

The point is, you need not feel the urge to identify yourself as simply left laned or right laned. Balance, my friends. Balance is the key.

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